The music on the play list was one of my favorites. The irony of my life has been the inability to give words to emotions. And these songs gave my thoughts a voice. And also took me to the most beautiful world, miles away from the striking realities of mundane life and the household chores.
The battle between my logical mind and emotions never seemed to end. Being married for more than a decade, the marriage was crowded from day one. My husband always thought relations need a remote control to work. And the remote control was safely handed over to his mother and sisters. All this made the relationship claustrophobic.
But as they say, God has His own strategies. He had made me one stubborn creature who had a habit of seeing the virtues with the challenges. Perhaps that is how the journey was still moving on with its own pace. A chance meeting with an old flame on the Social Network brought the old memories back. The desire to love and being loved came back. Days moved on with long conversations and late night chats.
What an irony this life is? People whom you stay with twenty hours a day and share intimacy with, fail to understand you and far distant acquaintances do it so well. Driving at a speed of 100 kilometers per hour I had a riot of thoughts: Did relations failed me or have I failed the relations? The forthcoming meeting where I was bound to loose myself yet again was on the mind. Will I live for myself or for the soul for whom I am an ideal role model? The war of thoughts….will the values win over the desires?
Ambika Nanda lives in Gurgaon, India, where she works as a preprimary teacher. She loves to read fiction and spiritual books. She writes poems herself and enjoys the company and conversations with like minded souls.