Hi. Guess what? I’m Bipolar. So far I’ve had two jaunts in the psych ward, the second more harrowing than the first. I hope I never have to go back again. I think I have the right combination of meds this second time around. Living with Bipolar means a constant nagging paranoia in conjunction with a bit of a messianic complex which I am to understand is “normal.” Other than that I’m peachy.
Like everyone else, sleep is vital to my well-being. I used to be a night owl party girl who lived to burn the midnight oil, but now I’m in bed by 9. Every night I wake up around 3. Often I am struck with the notion that we’re in hell and it’s my job to make sure everyone in my household is alive. Other times I am tasked to answer deep philosophical questions like why is there human suffering or who is the baddest MC of all time. Once my sleeping brain demanded I play a song on my phone to save planet Earth. I picked Cat Stevens’ “If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out.” It was the right choice because we’re still here aren’t we.
My psychiatrist tells me these dreams are not a side effect of the meds I’m taking. I guess it’s just my brain processing the trauma I suffered during my three week stay in the clink. These dreams are a way to satisfy my nagging desire to save the world, even if they’re just the product of my kooky brain. I wonder if anyone else is plagued/gifted with a brain as kooky as mine and if so, what song did they choose to save planet Earth? Maybe we could make a world saving playlist.
Story by Megan M. Metzger