Let’s bloom

The shape of the leaves was very similar to the smiling lips on an innocent face, the plant with pale green and ivory leaves arranged as if it were a human face; was my favorite on the window sill. But as life would have it, there are ups and downs, the only thing that works is to be consistent and positive. For a straight line on Electrocardiogram told me loud and clear, the person I loved the most is no longer my dearest dad but just a body.

The harsh winters took away all the leaves of my plant and all I could do was to look at it with … continue

Learning Not To Judge By Voices Alone

December 31st, 2017, just before the new year, I was told I have auditory hallucinations. What this means, for me, is that I hear voices in my head almost constantly. They tell me things like “You’re weak,” “You’re ugly,” “You act like a little girl. It’s no wonder people don’t take you seriously” and so on. This particular discovery was especially hard for me to come to grips with for obvious reasons. “People are gonna think I’m crazy. Maybe I am crazy.” The most harrowing aspect of the experience was a memory I had when I was about twelve-years-old.

I was on a camping trip with my church and I … continue

Songs to save planet Earth

Hi. Guess what? I’m Bipolar. So far I’ve had two jaunts in the psych ward, the second more harrowing than the first. I hope I never have to go back again. I think I have the right combination of meds this second time around. Living with Bipolar means a constant nagging paranoia in conjunction with a bit of a messianic complex which I am to understand is “normal.” Other than that I’m peachy.

Like everyone else, sleep is vital to my well-being. I used to be a night owl party girl who lived to burn the midnight oil, but now I’m in bed by 9. Every night I wake up … continue

Here is my SCREAM

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Even though my illness was discovered just in time, no words can describe the emotional, psychological, monetary, social, and physical challenges that the news brought me. I faced a very agonizing process overcoming it, and a difficult post-surgery recovery. I became a very dark person and from this experience, I became somewhat of a hermit.
I used writing to journal about my fears, doubts, angers, and stresses to alleviate my pain. One day I was reading through my notes, and I realized the power of my own writing. I had finally discovered my inner voice. I thought that if journaling … continue

My eyes are the colour of the sea

My eyes are the colour of the sea. Since I was a girl, I’ve believed that the ocean is inside me.
That my irises are made of glass, windows to the aqua and grey. Water lapping or smashing against the clear barrier that separates the inside from the outside.
I was ten years old when I regularly felt irrational worry. Like waves crashing over my head, obstructing my lungs. At night, I’d dream of gigantic walls of water coming toward me, smashing my face, filling my ears, sucking me up and spitting me out. Disorientated, I’d reach out in front and feel the sand in my hands and be hit … continue